Thursday, August 13, 2009

Yankee Deep Thoughts

I have noticed over the years of living here in Austin that I have a much different perspective on things than some of your crazy southerners do. I am going to drop bits of Yankee wisdom on y'all from time to time in an effort to educate my readers. Remember These bits of advice may or may not be what I would do now. I have changed some of my Yankee ways.1. Driving home I have multiple run ins with crazy southern drivers that actually let people in when other a-holes have driven on the shoulder of the highway to then cut them off. DON'T do that! Come on beef up a bit and give em' the finger. They are the a-holes not you. Don't let them in, they are not nice people. Give them a nasty look and tell them to wait their freaking turn!!!! A real Yankee like me will even speed up and not let them over if they are trying to then cut me off if you a nice southerner did not let them in. That's right people I can be an a-hole too!

2. Waiving while driving. I love it its so sweet and keep it up. But if you do something nice and let someone over or let them go ahead of you or whatever and they don't shoot you a waive you should totally then drive up behind that person and shake your head in a shaming way. Teach those people who's boss. You gatta toughen up a bit! Or you could do what a real Yankee does and not ever do nice things like that in the first place. (Reminder I am an ex-yankee)

3. Smiling at random people while walking, jogging or whatever on the street or tail. What the heck are you thinking!? Us yankees dont ever smile. Who knows who your smiling at? What if that person takes it as an invitation to follow you home and kick your dog!? Come on not smart. Keep your head down and keep walking silly southerners.

More random thoughts to come as I continue to spread my yankee wisdom with all Y'ALL! :)

PS: By ex-yankee I do not mean ex-yankee fan. I hate the Yankees! FYI I am a long time Red Socks fan!

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