I am not even in and they are going to kick me out!

Source

For those of you that don't know I am a provisional member of the Junior League of Austin this year. I am super excited about joining the league and feel great about all of the good things Iw ill be doing for the community through the league.

Also, for those of you that have not guessed, I was NOT in a sorority in college. Just was not something I did. I was never told about how cut throat women can be about volunteering.

These two things have been huge pains in my ass the last few weeks and here is why. In your provisional year you are givin a project to work on. In Austin it is called FIT - Food In Tummies. The program conssists of shifts packing backpacks of food for kids in the Del Valle ISD and then delivering them on Friday mornings. Those kids get t bring them home and have healthy food for the weekend. It is a great idea for sure. The issue is these girls who have been trained by thier sororities to be over achivers and stalk the website for all the best shift sign ups. They steal them all and then people like me who had no idea how "hard core" this all was gets stuck with only 6 out of my required 27 shifts!!!! Seriously.

So now I am freaking out. I am going to be kicked out before I even get in. What was I thinking!? Kate Middleton would never have these types of issues would she?

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I am a master florist...

Or maybe I am in my head... but whatever. I decided to try somthing that scares the crap out of me this weekend. I planted live flowers!

After an hour or so at Home Depot and many phone calls to my mom, here is the before and after. Everything lived through the night so I take that as a huge accomplishment. Don't judge me please. I kill everything in my house other than Mr. A and our dog.

The Cookie Dream

Last night I had one of the strangest dreams I have had in a while. Let me begin by telling you a bit of background. My ex and I were never right from the start. He used me and abused me seven ways to Sunday. Including having me as his back up girlfriend when he had a girlfriend in the public eye. Totally horrible situation and it ended very abruptly. I actually finally cut ties with the guy the same weekend that I met my wonderful future husband. All in all it was not ideal and I never totally dealt with the way he treated me.

Well every once in a while he pops up in a dream. Last night my dream went like this. I had made my famous chocolate chip cookie bars that I love to make and had just pulled them out of the oven. WF came in and lovingly took a slice from the end of the casserole dish the way you are supposed to cut into it and told me he loved me and left. Ex BF comes in and starts his normal ways of schmoozing me and flirting with me. I felt guilty for appeasing him but told him he could have a cookie bar if he wanted one. He proceeded to cut into the dish right in the middle. Taking a huge piece out (which we all know the middle cookies are the best part) and chomping away. For some reason (who knows why really) I told him it would taste better if he poured hot coffee on the cookie while he ate it but not to let it get cold because then it would be gross. He then took the whole pot of coffee and poured it all the rest of the cookies, ruining them for me and for but most of all for WF. I was so upset because WF just took his part and loved it and did not mess with the rest, saving it for later. WTF is that? He then sat there and acted like nothing wrong. I yelled at him and told him he ruined everything and he just continued to sit there like he did nothing.

I told WF about this dream because I felt so guilty about having it. He then started to analyze it. He came up with the idea that I think the EX BF ruins everything and if I ever let him back into my life I would be opening myself up to that. I came to the conclusion that I am the cookie. WF just took part and respected the rest and loved it. The EX BF took the best part of it and ruined it for WF. I am always effed up, and he did this to me.

What do you think ladies?

Worst.Week.Ever.

Yes I know it is only Wednesday. But this week STINKS! I can't belive my luck. I have just totally fallen apart since this weekend and have had sever (yes several) mini breakdowns.

First Monday morning I did not have the right stuff for my normal lunch. I was pretty pouty about that, if I had only known I would have just gotten back in bed right then. Then while out at lunch running 10 errands I still have to get done I had a panic attack as I realized that I forgot to take my sweet sweet puppy out to go pee in the morning. Fearing the worst I promptly headed home to let him out. No big deal except I was on the other end of town and drove about 30 minutes north to go home. Ugh. Well about 5 minutes away from home I remembered that I did let him out. Double ugh! So I figured I would drop off my dry cleaning. After checking my pile of stuff three and four times I realized the the fabulous dress I borrowed from my friend Kelly was GONE! No where to be found at all. I went home checked everywhere as well as in my car and it was no where to be found at all. So after calling everyone I could who might know where the dress was I resigned to the fact that it was gone. So then I had to replace the dress. I called every store in central Texas where they might carry the dress and finally found it at a store on the other end of town. As we all know in Austin driving from one end of the city to the other during rush hour BLOWS! So I finally made it home two hours later than normal. Stupid MOPAC.

My dog had no food and neither did we. So I went to HEB to remedy that situation. Well I get there and there are NO GROCERY CARTS! Goodness really? Really!? So after asking several people to help me find one and no response I caved and just grabbed a small arm basket. I proceeded to rush through grabbing absolute necessities. I proceeded to hit a kid in the head, who was sitting on the floor in the middle of HEB (REALLY! Thanks crazy mom for thinking that was a good idea) So I got home and had a small panic attack in my closet while folding laundry. WF rescued me and put me promptly to bed.

Determined to make Tuesday better I got to work. I tore though the start of this huge project. Well at about 3 I realized that I had been processing this whole thing wrong!!! I have to now do it all over again and my boss got on me about how I cost us a bunch of time and money. I ended up crying in the bathroom for a while, all the while freaking out that they are going to fire me.

All in all this week had gotten off to a crappy start. If I don't get fired I am hoping to make up for my mistake and get more organized and on top of everything. I still feel horrible about Kelly's dress and I still want to shoot myself in the foot when I think about mistake I made at work. I have to make this better! What the heck is going on with me!