Northern Girl vs. Texas Charmer

Recently in a conversation with my friend Kate, I realized that I have now lived in Austin longer than I lived in Philadelphia. It is strange but true. I am in this weird place where I am starting to identify myself more as a Texan and less and less as a true Philly girl. Honestly it is a bit sad to me that I no longer know all the new hip bars in Philly, or the places to be seen at. That I can't remember all the street names of give people directions to the best cheese steak in town. 

I have two great girlfriends back in Philadelphia and they always make me feel right at home when I come see them. But now I feel more like I am going to visit them than I am going home, you know? I know Austin now and I love Austin. I feel relaxed and at home here if it were up to me we would never move from here. I love wearing cowgirl boots, listening to country music, while saying the occasional y'all and sipping on titos tea. I still love the history and the feel of Philly but I feel like a poser when I say I am from Philadelphia now. Will I ever truly be a Texan? Will I ever really loose my Philadelphia, "I am from Philly and will cut your ass" attitude that I am so famous for? I don't know. 

The other day I was talking to my friend who lives in DC now. She was born and raised a Texan and when she first moved there I knew she what she was going through and gave her some insight. I told her the people on the east coast are harsh and have very tough exteriors but once you get to know them, once you "melt their shell" so to speak you find they are some of the kindest most loyal people ever. I think that she has discovered this and she is so happy now that she has found some friends and made a home for herself there. It immediately made me so homesick. It was like I needed a hit of some rude homeless people, I wanted to walk to work in the fog and rain, or sit on some gum on the subway. (Ahhh how I miss you Philly) 

I feel so torn between both places and know I could be totally happy anywhere I live. I guess I will always have a special place in my heart for Philadelphia, or any other place I lived. I once heard a saying, "Don't let the past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you become". I hope that I can always remember my tough girl attitude, and to never let anyone walk all over me while becoming the Texan wife, with fabulous longhorn game day outfits, mother with kids who get the float the river in the summers and friend that knows all the best places to buy great boots I know I want to be.